A Search for Identity

When I think about my current job, I must admit that I love it. The office, the friends, the culture and the relaxing environment couldn’t be any better, seriously. But then again, being in such a comforting zone does not stop me from applying for other jobs that might offer me ‘more’ (you know what I mean ;p). So there I was, browsing through job vacancies around Asia, trying my luck in big companies that I know would provide all the benefits I need. And I got called by one of em…an oil & gas company. I couldn’t stop smiling, feeling soooo proud of myself that at least my CV was considered.

So there I went for the first interview. If I must evaluate my own performance at that time, I think I did pretty well heheh…and so I got called for a 2nd interview. Now this is where the entire dilemma started. I was like, a 2nd interview? But what if I get the job? I love my current job! I don’t have any clue or interest in oil and gas! What am I supposed to say? Well anyways, I came for the interview despite whatever I had in mind.

During the interview and test, my brain just couldn’t focus. Every time the interviewer asked me a question, my mind seemed to be like on another planet . I realized, that at that very moment, I was doing the wrong thing. So I messed up. My answers had no quality, and the enthusiasm I always show about a certain job just disappeared. I screwed up, which if I think about it now, was unconsciously done on purpose probably so that I won't get the job :D

A few days later, I got an email, saying that they won’t proceed my application. And you know what? That was like one of theeeeeeeee most relieving moments. A little bit of regret, but again, relieved :)
Bottom line: money isn’t everything. It may blind us some times, leading us to the fantasy that having the ability to buy everything we want is the best thing ever. But at the end, working is about doing what you love. Even though that job would most probably give me a salary 3 times larger than my current one, forcing myself to be interested in oil and gas just isn’t right. It may give me the pride of having such a fancy job in the eye of the others, but lying to myself would just hurt myself. Better do our best at what we love, rather than just do good at what seems best.